I once knew a girl who I thought had it all. This was years ago so my memory might be a tad too rusty. But she did. She sure as hell did. The prettiest face. An equally handsome boyfriend. A budding business. A profession in the making. And the best set of friends anyone can ask for.

I'm not sure of how it happened but she left it all behind. In a heartbeat. For something or someone, which until today, I can't put my finger on. Maybe it's because the versions of her story became such an urban legend that no one really knows how it all went down. Why she chose what she chose. Why she never looked back.

I try (tried is what I mean--I gave up like a month ago) to know her all over again. But then I realize there's too much water under the freaking bridge that it's virtually impossible to cross it or whatever it is we do with bridges.

I got to think of her over the weekend but I had too much alcohol in my system to explicitate why.

I'm sober now.

I wish she looked back. Just for a millisecond. So she could have seen what she left behind.

I remember now why I thought of her. But I'd like to keep most of it for myself.

I wish her well, always.

For my part, suffice to say that I'm glad I looked back, when I could have easily gone the other way and left everything that have ever mattered to me. Humbling as it was, I am where I belong.

To a bunch of girls who fend for each other, root for each other, respect and love each other despite the  neverending "I told-you-so's".

So there. This is what I meant to say yesterday along with the drunken pictures of us.

To my girls, my sisters, we might be one less but we are still us, nonetheless.

I heart you all.

 

 

 

 

Today I learn that happiness is a state of mind, that friendships are nurtured over time, that while love does not always beget love, it's still worth it, oh yes it is. Now I know that while I might not get everything I want but I will always get everything I really need. Most importantly, for those who can't choose me (and I'm not referring to the usual suspects this time), I resolve not to linger or try to make it real.

I am blessed. I am loved. I am Golden.

Thank you dear Jesus, Santi, mom, boy P., siblings, friends and most especially sofia, for lighting up my life and allowing me to live it without a single regret.

fabulous...

with my wingman C


girls just wanna have fun

thanks for everything, B!

Minz is: content

Instead of wallowing on things I can't seem to get done, I feel it's high time that I commend myself for the stuff I've accomplished lately. After hours on the phone with an airline agent, I got me and 13 of my friends tickets to Boracay this August--for half the price. (thanks to my employer, I'm loving this travel perk, seriously!) The crew's been bugging me to go the beach the whole summer and I knew the only way we'd actually see sand is by force. So I group texted them when I got the Cebu Pacific promo on my e-mail and left them with not much of a choice except to pay. Boracay here we come!

Before that get-away happens, I also managed to snag Pacquiao tickets this weekend in Outback for my family and a few friends. We got lucky the last time to land the very last table available. I figured this time, the earlier the better. I was right. We will be watching Manny kick Diaz' ass this Sunday on premier seats while munching on fish and chips. This is the life, right?

Finally, I'm working on my belated Big 3-0 party. This gets me everytime. I'm at my best and my weakest in weeks leading to my birthday. I was telling Santi the other day why I am this way. Told him that you never know if it will be your last, if you'd still get to blow the candle next year. I choose to seize the day, everyday and thank the Top Man up there for another year. Plus, I get the feeling I'd be leaving this world fairly earlier than most. Better get started with my Bucket List given that scenario. So bring it on. My chocolate cake, pink balloons and party hats will be groovin' it in two weeks. Here's to thirty-something!

I'm not perfect. In fact, I'm pretty evil at times. But I do get things done. Just can't deal with lightnings, late-night texts and jerks in black cars.

This girl here tried.failed countless times. Is still trying and failing...

Minz is: indescribable

Sofia finally watched her first movie and she behaved like we hope she would. Apart from the occasional "little mermaid yan e!" that raised some eyebrows in the cinema, she was an angel. Except that we caught Kung Fu Panda and NOT little mermaid. She was a bit confused at the influx of characters in this big, big TV so she tried making herself comfortable by calling out the familiar: Ariel and her crew ( even Morgana!). I think Santi and I were more excited than she was, taking pictures, holding her hair, looking at her eyes widen with awe. She ate chips like a pro. She imitated Po the Fat Panda's martial arts to her lola when she got home. sigh. Pixar, here we come!


XXX

I took the first man I've ever loved to lunch last Sunday. This time, I paid and it felt good doing that. He has spent a fortune on me considering that I'm not even his type, so he says. I had the audacity to ask for a Jaguar, which he almost considered buying when I passed the bar exams. Fool for love, he is.

He dug at his tuna sashimi, his all time favorite, like it was going out of style tomorrow. I noticed how he seemed older, tanner and missing a few of his teeth. Still he is, by far, the handsomest of all. I remembered how stormy our relationship was at one point. We wrote horrible letters to each other, hurled hurtful words when we fought. One letter I wrote even said: "I don't want to be with men, I am gay!". At the time, I really thought I was but that's not the point. It is the fact I had to tell him that, of all people. Stuff you do when you were in your 20's. Crazy.

Yet, he still took me in. Loved me no matter what. Believed when nobody else did. He is the man. My dad. I will love you forever, Boy P. And yeah, surprise, I'm not gay! Happy Fathers Day.

xxx

Santi and I went for a nightcap in Blue Wave that same night. C begged us to wait for Richard Poon to come out and sing his esophagus out. Oblivious to who the man was, I stared at my beer hoping it would magically turn into my bed so I can sleep. Lo and behold this hunk of a Chinese man appeared before our eyes and started crooning "The Way You Look Tonight" and "Moon River". I was hooked. Not as much as C was though. Her eyes were all dreamy and her face looked like Cate Blanchett in Indiana Jones. I was afraid Poon would think she had her face botoxed. Anyway, I'm betting he is the next big thing to hit Manila. In the meantime, I got his autograph for C and took their picture after.

Can we clone men like that? He looked clean and fresh and..nevermind. Just thinking, I bet men like that don't give women HPV.

I just had to say.

Currently listening to: "Til I loved you "--Barbara Streisand
Minz is: chilling:)